take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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