Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
