You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
