you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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