what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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