I think my fart just growled at me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
