Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
zippers are such a cool invention
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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