im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
