why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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