I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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