Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
