Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
