So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
