I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
