Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
