I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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