I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
