That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
