You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dignity is for republicans.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize