the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
