We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
