I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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