also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
