Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We are all done wearing pants today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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