i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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