I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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