he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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