Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
