i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
