Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
