Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
