you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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