Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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