I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
