so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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