Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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