So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize