Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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