why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
