So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
