I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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