just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
