my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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