4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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