So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
