It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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