bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize