Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
