I wannas sexs uuuuu
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
