At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
