Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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