Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
