do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
