I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
