How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
