Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
