GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize