please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
