I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
