I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
