never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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