she looked like the before picture.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
