fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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