she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
