He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
