what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize