You just made me feel so damn special
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
