I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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