so explain again why im purple
no
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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