Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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