you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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