Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
