Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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